March 2018

I love the MOT – it’s not something you often hear the customers say, and I don’t exactly see the staff dancing through the workshop singing its praises when they know they’ve got some extra MOT training coming up they haven’t prepared for, but it plays an important role in the business. Obviously it plays a massive role in the industry as a whole, and its value in terms of making the roads safer must be immeasurable. When the government announced its 4-1-1 intentions last year I made sure I responded to the consultation, and I made sure everyone I know in the trade did as well. We get many low-mileage cars in here with surprising problems. It didn’t take a genius to work out that high-mileage cars would be storing up some serious problems if you pushed back the MOT for another year. We had a little party here when we heard the news that 4-1-1 had been dumped. Really, I took the whole team to the pub for a drink, I was that pleased. One drink mind you, it was a Thursday. Of course, this wasn’t the first time our masters in Westminster tried this sort of thing. Remember 4-2-2 back in what I am reliably told is called ‘the naughty years.’ I’m sorry ‘the noughties.’ I was being corrected by my young receptionist as I typed, but not listening. I might be bang-on for web surfing and smartphones but I still have no idea about about modern terminology. Anyway, 4-2-2. What a great idea that wasn’t – all the problems you associate with delaying the MOT for an extra year, with the added bonus of leaving it so long between tests that everyone forgets to go and the whole system falls apart. Brilliant! By comparison. 4-1-1 looked almost thought through, on a curve that is, if your starting point was total madness. Speaking of total madness, we’ve got some banging MOT stories from here, Just-off-the-street non-regular customers who try to get cars through that are held together with wire, cars from regular but careless customers that had no attention whatsoever since their previous MOT a year before, and of course my absolute favourite – the chancers. I love chancers, especially the ones who try to bribe me without saying anything or showing me any money. I usually clock them as soon as they slide through the door. Then it’s all gesticulation, eyebrows, nudge- nudge-wink-wink-motor-no-more! Mrs P happened to walk in once and thought one of them was having a fit, what with all the jocularity and the twitching. Actually I do get a bit of a buzz watching them try and talk their way into trouble. I usually send them on their way. Of course you do get the more serious incidents where they get nasty, but luckily those are rare. Fun and potential fisticuffs aside, the MOT is a serious business, one we are serious about here. Obviously, as top cat in the alley, I am fully up to date with all my MOT requirements, and I make sure the team get their training done too. As I said, they sometimes get a bit flustered (I can’t do everything can I?) but they get through in the end. I don’t discount my MOTs, and I still get plenty of business. Aside from the discounting it is a very democratic process, as every car has to get an MOT, under the same requirements. I’m all for democracy, in principle, outside of these doors. Obviously, here my word is law, once Mrs P’s had her say… MOT-ERMOUTH STRIKES AGAIN... 66 AFTERMARKET MARCH 2018 TEABREAK: MEMOIRS OF A MOTOR MECHANIC www.aftermarketonline.net