June 2020

I have often wondered about the intersection between the readership of Aftermarket magazine, and fans of films like SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT and THE CANNONBALL RUN, essentially the car-related output of Burt Reynolds. Yes that includes HOOPER. If someone did a survey, I reckon they could do a diagram that would show how these two groups are, in fact, the same group. We’re through the looking glass here, people… Do you think I might have some time on my hands? Yes, that’s right, I’m in self-isolation for a couple of weeks. I had a cough, and I thought it best to get the heck out of Dodge, so Parkit Motors could stay in operation to keep our customers on the road. To be honest, I think I am fine, but in the current situation, it is a case of better safe than sorry. Unlike the rest of you, I don’t have time for Netflix. That said, here I am, plunging the depths of ITV4’s constant stream of male-orientated cinema and heritage television, fishing shows and darts coverage, while also keeping an eye on the business. In the past, I would have toughed it out, probably infecting everyone else with my malady in the process. That really is not an option under current circumstances though. Malady reminds me of Milady – in case you are wondering, Mrs P is fine, and has taken residence in the south wing of the house, and is generally avoiding me- for her health for once. “Plas la change,” as the French say. I have also been learning French, in case I didn’t mention it. Sorry, all this isolation is making my thought processes a little random. I am using my time wisely as well though. I have been tasked with the social media output for the duration, while also looking towards what we can do with the business once things pick up when this lockdown is over. I am having regular chats with the team too. I am even managing some off-site diagnosis. We are trying to focus on emergency repairs to keep people on the road. If you want your car tuned, jog on until after the summer. If your brakes are failing though, come right in. Just don’t hit any of the team. You get the idea Anyway, we had a customer call in. His car bonnet wouldn’t open. The car is otherwise immaculate, and very well maintained by both the owner and us, so this was a surprise to him and us. To be honest, the bonnet mechanism isn’t something that you think about until it goes wrong. Luckily, being as old as time itself, I have seen this particular problem before. That meant when the team happened to mention it, I told them “lubricate the cable and clean away all the rubbish that hides itself in with it.” That sorted it out good and proper. It’s certainly giving me plenty of perspective, this situation. It’s not quite the same as being at the sharp end though, and I do miss the hustle and bustle too. There is more opportunity to factor in the larger life questions though. For example, in the Aftermarket reader/CANNONBALL RUN confluence, where do fans of the THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS series sit? Are they the younger, digital issue readers the Editor bangs on about? It’s certainly something to ponder. AT HOME WITH ARTHUR 50 AFTERMARKET JUNE 2020 TEABREAK: MEMOIRS OF A MOTOR MECHANIC www.aftermarketonline.net